Info and Tips for Mothers with Postpartum Depression

Being a mother is hard, there's no way around it. No matter how precious or how perfect our children may be, sometimes depression creeps into our lives and we have no control over it. I am just coming out of the throes of some deep Postpartum Depression. While I'm grateful to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can't help but think there are so many women who are still struggling with this and I want to help them out of it so badly. It's miserable.

A couple months back I participated in a study about mothers and depression. As a wrap up of the study, I was given some material with tips to help women who are suffering from this type of depression and I feel I have to share it. The information is so valuable to those who need it. If you or someone you know is dealing with Postpartum Depression, please pass this on to them.

Tips for Dealing with Depression: What Can You Do?

Get Support and Focus on Supporters

• Whether women perceive their partners as supportive has an impact on their experience of depression.
• Communicate and work with your partner to get the support that will be most helpful.
• Focus on people who can support you if your partner is unavailable or seems unsupportive.
• Struggling and hiding your depression creates a "double burden" on you making it harder to feel better, so stay connected to others and reach out for help from a health care professional.

Realistic Expectations of Yourself

• Women with unrealistic expectations of themselves struggle more with depression.
• Focus on your experience of motherhood and avoid comparing it to your picture of what you expected or what others expect and have suggested you should be experiencing.
• Avoid focusing on how other perceive you and your experiences as a mother.
• Recognize that some of what you are experiencing is natural and normal. Changes in appetite, sleep, energy, and sexual drive are expected changes for many women after having a baby.
• Focus on what you are doing well, including getting through the day, keeping yourself safe and healthy, and your baby safe and healthy. Being a mother is a big job even when it seems you are not doing much, you have accomplished some very important things.

Enjoy Your Baby

• Feelings towards your baby and depression influence one another: Bonding with baby affects depression and depression affects bonding with baby.
• Spend some time each day enjoying time with your baby trying to put other worries aside.

Exercise and Relaxation

• Exercise affects your mood and state of mind: Try walking, stretching, or swimming.
• Focus on what feels good not on other goals such as losing weight. Keep your expectations/goals small so that you feel good when you have accomplished a little step instead of disappointed when you can't reach a huge goal you have set up. Little steps add up!
• Be proactive about relaxing: Spend a few minutes each day focusing on calm breathing, visualizing something that is pleasing, listening to a song that creates a positive mood, or smiling, which can affect your mood even if you don't feel it in the moment.

Sleep

• Research shows that treating sleep problems such as insomnia increases the chances of recovering from depression.
• Use your support network and working with your baby's routine to try to get more sleep when possible.
• Monitor and identify patterns between your sleep, eating, and mood. They are all connected and might give you clues about how in increase either the quantity or quality of sleep.
• Try to accept, not resist, fight, or become frustrated about sleep. Acceptance reduces the added exhaustion resulting from energy put into emotional resistance. Try meditation which impacts energy even if you cannot get to sleep.

Most importantly focus on what helps you. Depression is not your fault, there is help, and it can get better.

- Michelle Choch, M.A., Motherhood and Depression Study, University of Manitoba, Department of Psychology.

I hope you found this as helpful as I did and I hope you can see me as a resource if you need to reach out for support but don't know where to start. I've been there and know how difficult it can be. Sometimes just having someone to listen to (or read) your problems is all that's needed.

Also, if you think you might qualify for the study or just want more information, let me know and I will get you in touch with Michelle.